Sunday, May 27, 2007

Cold and Wet

New words: Fillip, Caulk, Gunwale, Apercu, Callisthenics.

This week on A Stray World:
  • What men think women want men to think what women should wear;
  • What Parliament Thinks of Members of Parliament;
  • Substitute Profanity of the Week.
Issue 1
We come back to the alleged issue of discrimination once more, against the fairer sex. This topic has been explored before, but then, I did it from an egalitarian socialist point of view.

Now, for the benefit of macho men out there who think women should be seen (preferably covered with black window curtains), I bring you: Mr. Makan Kaki.

"Women are naturally modest. And besides, we are Asian. We shouldn't be pressured to follow the corrupt Westerners with their short-stringed bikinis and low cut tops," opines Mr. Makan Kaki, a fictional representation of the Malaysian macho man.

"But sir," I said, "Don't Orang Asli women whose ancestors have lived on this land for many generations wear almost nothing but loincloths and beads? Surely that's an Asian culture."

"They must have inherited it from the West," retorts the red-faced Mr. Makan Kaki, "They are immigrants from the Burmese region of Asia. Any map will show that region lies to the West of Malaysia."

"And besides. Those women know their place in society now after the Malays emigrated en-mass into the Malay Peninsular from Sumatera," continues our affable friend. "Back then, these women had equal rights as men in inheritance, power, knowledge, respect and social status as men. They even had the right to walk about half-naked and reject suitors! What kind of sick society was that?"

"Luckily, the new immigrants brought with them paternal rights and they instilled those values into those women."

"But sir," I began with good reason, "By 'instilling their value' as you say, they began pillaging the villages, killing the men, raping the women, and capturing women and children to be used as sex slaves. This trading of humans didn't come to an end until the British came to power."

"They knew nothing about us! They destroyed our culture!" he spluttered. "They removed our Sultans from power and tried to give equal rights to every one with their Malayan Union nonsense. If it weren't for the rise of national consciousness, who knows what our nation would be like today?"

"But didn't the Malays did the same thing when they established Melaka and subsequently proceeded to invade Orang Asli territory? Didn't they 'destroy culture' as well?"

"Oh don't be so high and mighty. You Chinese did it too when you came here with your opium," snapped Makan Kaki. with increasing ferocity "At least we gave them religion."

"I admit, my ancestors did unsavoury things as well," said I "By the way, your point also brings up something interesting as well... You just acknowledged your immigrant status as well. Besides the fact the Orang Asli had a belief system of their own as well which the Malays tried to wash away with Islam after the raping and enslaving."

At this point in the interview. I found myself with a royal keris stuck 12 centimetres deep into my abdomen. Needless to say, I died a horrible death.

Issue 2
What do you mean I didn't die?!? Don't you know how much I was looking forward to it?

Anyway, our next session begins with Parliament.

"So Parliament, what do you think of our elected representatives?" I questioned the august building.

"Their are smart MPs and polite MPs.
Stupid MPs and rude MPs.
There are greedy MPs and generous MPs.
There are hard-working MPs and lazy MPs.
There is a disabled MP and able-bodied MPs.
There are women and there are children MPs.
But at the end of the day,
The elected representatives,
are your MPs."

Issue 3
Beginning this week, I will start giving suggestions for popular profanity.

Today, I feature the rather mild: "Holy shit!"

Instead of "Holy shit!", try "Ecclesiastical excrement!"

That all for the end of the week.

As the Jahai say: The spirits are are listening. The Earth is listening. The people are listening. Be well.

Sunday, May 06, 2007

Hard Knocks

Swale, Trellis, Arbour, Riposte, Peripatetic, Battue, Creel, Pekoe, Deke, Mastic, Chancre, Calcifuges, Fetid, Nadir, Alarum, Tipple, Atavistic.

This week's edition of A Stray World features:
  • The buildings of Malaysia
The inherent architecture of a country is a mirror of public consciousness.

As the majestically decadent structures of Paris represent her people's obsession with the luxuries of life over the plights of the impoverished, stark contrasts are seen with the single-story circular buildings of old Beijing streets emphasising family unity over outward opulence.

What then can be said about the buildings of Malaysia, which admittedly, can't boast much in terms of history, as most of the historical buildings are in the process of being torn down, if not in severe disrepair?

It is by choice, by the dictation of the voice of greed that our seniors in power have chosen to build over the old with supposedly modern infrastructures of development. As we compete with our enemies, imagined or otherwise, to build the tallest towers as a symbol of class and culture, it would do to take note that in Italy, the arguable centre of fashion and lifestyle, some cities have enacted rules forbidding buildings to grow beyond a certain height.

Enactments in place before the advent of skyscrapers!

Does modernization hold the chains of hope for this land, or will it be the anchor that pulls us all into a quagmire of cultural monotony?

In little less than one month, no less than four reports have been filed on our pride and joy, the modern buildings of governance, of breaking under the weight of time.

Barely a decade into service and cracks have broken through the ceilings, burst pipes have flooded entire floors, and red-faced ministers have spluttered out blame on anyone but themselves.

Apparently, maintenance of the structures is one of the reasons, though correctly pointed out, not the chief reason. Which begs the question, what form of government would employ lazy monkeys to staple water pipes into administrative buildings?

It is an open secret government contracts are given to bumiputera contractors simply for being bumiputeras. When that happens every single day, every month, for every year since the NEP, you can't blame these people for shucking the responsibility for the job.

After all, if you possess the distinct advantage of living on the sale of personal responsibility, wouldn't you be tempted too?

The government has taken note too, seeing from their press statements in Malay entrepreneur development forums and whatnots.

Not surprisingly, nothing has been implemented so far to fix the broken sprocket. Policies have to take the racial factor into account. While an egalitarian solution is definitely preferable, election results won't reflect the satisfaction derived from strong, long-lasting structures of governance.

It is with sad reflection that old wooden kampung houses in rural areas have outlasted modern plastic and PVC.

Why is that the case? Perhaps the only satisfying answer lies with the builder.

At the end of the day, we are left with nothing more than the hope that these buildings will outlast their creators, to serve a future generation as well as they are serving the present one.