From Hell to Earth's Hell

I am finally back! It was a blast I tell you, going through National Service.

Seriously, I enjoyed myself.

That however, doesn't mean I hold no criticisms regarding my stint. In fact, in a way, I was proven beyond any reasonable doubt that National Service has failed in its overall objective to instill discipline, integration, and unity between the 300 or so odd trainees in camp.

Of course, that is from my perspective. Anyhow, you can read about my experience yourself when I finish digitizing my offline blog, which I had written during the 84 days in exile.

NOTE: The phrase "offline blog" does not exist. I simply find it a convenient way of describing my diary to people who ask. Whenever someone approaches me in camp asking what I am writing, I answer it is my offline blog, my diary, only it is a diary meant for public viewing.

It has been a frenetic 2 days since my return.

First, I had to complete my revisions.

I immediately started with Numb3rs on AXN which was immediately followed by Being Chen Kaige on Discovery Channel.

What, you didn't actually expect me to read up on Form 6 did you? TV is my life, it powers my intellect. I can feel a significant drop in my ability to conduct or write with my usual wit and vigour as a result of my gamma-ray withdrawal treatment.

Here's a general rundown of what I did after my return:

1. Reintroduced myself to my dog. The son of a bitch (not profanity, but fact) had forgotten me and wanted to take a chunk off my hand;
2. Watched TV;
3. Tended to my bonzais, all of whom had changed and grown significantly;
4. Messaged most of my ex-National Service friends;
5. Walked my dog;
6. The World Cup (England vs Paraguay)
7. Completed my offline blog;
8. The World Cup (Sweden vs Trinidad & Tobago).

The World Cup. The magic begins.

While I mostly read the paper during the England-Paraguay match, my full attention was given to the unlikely combination of Sweden - Trinidad & Tobago.

Magic, I tell you.

Trinidad & Tobago were reduced to 10 men in the second half, which effectively meant they had to last more then 45 minutes worth of attack.

With Henrik Larsson and Zlatan Ibrahimovic in Sweden's attacking lineup, this could easily have been a 4-0 drubbing right then and there.

What followed next was nothing short of a superhuman display by the Trinidad & Tobago goalkeeper, Shaka Hislop, who single handedly stopped shots that would have cratered the doors of a Proton.

His fellow countrymen, also manifested incredible obstinance in their defense, led by none other that Dwight Yorke - who commanded and inspired his teammates in conducting the most incredible defense I have ever seen based solely on the will to never quit.

I didn't need any coffee, although I had only had two-and-a-half-hours sleep in 48 hours. So you could forgive me for giving a small cheer at 0230 on the 11th of June when the final whistle blew.

Back to business as usual then. My TV revision continued with the latest season of all three CSIs, Discovery Channels I Shouldn't be Alive a revisit of Spongebob Squarepants.

In the course of writing this, I realised (imagined me speaking with an Irish lilt) me olde wit is back laddie.

Wow, in two days, I have racked up 21 TV deaths thanks, no doubt, to CSI Supreme Sunday. That's a water tank-load of blood if we could ever squeeze them out of the bodies.

While our highly respected and loved ministers and representatives wish to control the displays of affection in public, they have wisely allowed us all to continue our pursuit for more violence and gore.

Yes, down with love, bring on the blood.

Hey, I have a suggestion for the MPs, why don't you shoot couples holding hands or kissing in the Botanical Gardens on the spot!

You could send a message to all those who would show their love to the world while providing extra entertainment to the public in a local fashion; because we must all support our local film industry no matter how vacuous and frivolous most of them are, right?

Seriously, I think there is something very wrong with our leaders. Especially with the looming threat of hydraulic despotism. We should be focusing on the management of our natural resources and energy needs rather than stunting love.

I leave you with a quote from lesson 1 of the Hacker High School programme:

"Research a topic. Any topic. A current event, perhaps. Use the first source you find as the standard. Find 5 other sources. How do the other sources differ from that standard? What reasons would there be for the difference? Political reasons? Has content been changed to suit a specific audience? Has content been omitted to make an issue or a fact more palatable or marketable? Do subtle wording differences change the interpretation of your standard? When you encounter this question for the first time, you'll find that some of your own bias may influence your answers. As you learn more (not only with computers and security, but in all subjects), come back to this question when researching a topic. You'll find that your broader perspective gives you new insights in to some, if not all, of the answers."

Dead of the Week: 21
Total Dead (Since 12th Jan 2006): 218