Sunday, February 25, 2007

Of Dignity & Chastity

Shrift, Transgression, Colliers, Choler, Maidenhead, Pernicious, Posterity, Forsworn, Tetchy, Stinted, Prolixity, Lath, Masque, Alderman, Trencher, Disparagement, Perforce, Prorogue, Distemper

This week on A Stray World:
  • Cleric recommends chastity belts, group to take up challenge;
  • More spying Mat Skoding, extra protection for all;
  • Dr Mohd Asri Zainul Abidin, as good as they get.
"Women should wear chastity belts to prevent rape, incest and other sex crimes," said Abu Hassan Din Al Hafiz, alledgedly prominent Muslim Cleric during a speech on the 16th of February in Terengganu.

That was the absolutely brilliant idea pushed to the forefront as a result of substantial surveys and follow-ups conducted by the coalition of Muslim clerics.

The greater incidences of rape as a result of provocative clothing, a postulation that has since met its end has resulted in a commendable backtrack by the conservative clerics.

Realising their foolhardy mistake, they have embarked on a separate branch of thought, that it is the men that are to be blamed when women are raped, as opposed to their former postulation, where the women are blamed when women are raped.

Just what exactly is a chastity belt? What form does it take?
As one may observe from the image above, there are two holes at opposite ends of the metallic strap for the passing of body wastes. Sharp edges prevent the insertion of the male appendage for sexual pleasure. Sexual gratification through other means though, seem probable given the relative size of the holes.

This medieval device demonstrates how effective the common padlock is in securing a woman's dignity, which is exactly what the clerics are aiming for.

It is therefore rather perplexing on their part when public outcry against the device has pushed them once more, back to the drawing board.

It is rather interesting to note, chastity belts are rather popular in Indonesia. This is a country who's inhabitants have displayed acute flexibility and pragmatism in their willingness to purchase chastity belts.

Rather than fret about the inanities of the inhabitants of this nation, we move on to another topic that has gripped the nation amid a sudden economic boom - the Mat Skoding.

Terengganu State Islam Hadhari and Welfare Committee chairman Datuk Rosol Wahid, suggests the establishment of a respected body of busy-bodies to weed out men and women who commit immoral offences. Such as the khalwat, or close proximity offence.

Among the advantages attributed to the formation of the Mat Skoding are,
  • reduction in cases of men and women dating;
  • reduction in cases of men and women copulating; and
  • reduction in cases of men and women getting married.

Obviously, the Mat Skoding themselves must display nothing but the most admirable of human qualities. To achieve this end, the Terengganu government has seized upon the previously defunct idea of chastity belts and have issued a state directive for all Mat Skoding to attire themselves with the "armour of dignity".
The above picture would be an example of this joint venture between the state government and BDSM entities across our fair nations borders.

Mat Skoding who fail to purchase a chastity belt of their own will be compelled to make their own.

With their morality firmly secured, the people can rest assured, the person video-taping your movements is certainly dignified to the extreme.

The final article of the day features none other than the rising star of the state clerics, Dr. Mohd Asri Zainul Abidin.

He has given the following suggestions to legalise khalwat detecting:
  • THE operation must not stir the development of tajassus (spying to find fault) offences in Muslim society and as such the informer has to ascertain that he/she actually saw or heard the offence being committed;
  • THE operation itself must not be conducted merely to spy for the sake of finding fault;
  • THE operation must not be based on doubtful information;
  • THE enforcement authority should not encourage people to lodge complaints on actions which can cause embarrassment among Muslims, and in this case the practice of giving rewards to informers in close proximity cases should be stopped;
  • DETAILS of the offence committed should not be revealed prior to sentencing; and,
  • OPERATIONS which are deemed to have adverse effects like infringing on the individuals' rights and privacy; an operation suspected of being carried out with malicious intent and creating hatred towards the religious enforcement agency should be abandoned.
Yes folks. This is the one who will bring all Malaysian Muslims into the 22nd century. The fact that he drew up the guidelines one must adhere to while snooping is not more significant than the actual acceptance of the act.

Well, I suppose this is as good as they get.

Sunday, February 18, 2007

Chinese New Year 07

And we are back. It turns out the troubled landline dial tone was due to Telekom's (Malaysian telecommunications giant, by monopoly) new voice mail service for landlines.

After a technician came by and declared the phone lines were fault free, I decided to do some belated fiddling to the dial-up settings on my loyal 7-year-old Windows ME machine.

Changed from tone dial to pulse dial = no dial tone detected.

Unchecked the box to dial after detecting dial tone = Incorrect password

Frustrating isn't it. One month after my last visit to the web using my TmNet account and after solving a relatively easy but befuddling problem, and these pigs tell me my password is incorrect!

Who do we summon in this time of need?

Our clan know of one weapon,
Who's power is so great, company CEO's have offered free gifts to salve its murderous anger,
Who's ferocity is such, that pimply-faced office boys face death by the end of scissor blades at a word wronged,
And who's price is high, to the point our clansmen wield it at risk of eternal damnation,
My mother.

Six hours later, I was on-line, updating my anti-virus definitions and spyware protection lists.

Since this is my first post for a very long time, and on the first day of Chinese New Year at that, expect not white lies, foul knave, for thy words draw wounds on the soul, not carvings on webpages.

A time of peace and new beginnings shall commence, with the path of eternal rest still dimmed, shall we all seek the one tunnel to return us to sanity, and freedom.

Have a meaningful Chinese New Year.