Sunday, March 25, 2007

Studying, Ending, Humanity.

Weir, Dyke, Prognostic, Apotheosis, Effulgence, Bosky, Apocryphal, Spurious, Prodigious, Garret, cum grano salis, Sorrel, Perforce, Gimlet, Vim, Bugger.

Something to Live for,
Something to Die for,
Living to Die,
Dying to Live.

This week on a Stray World:
  • Global Warming/Reset the World?
Global Warming/Reset the World?
I caught a snippet of the naysayers in The Star over the week. The discussion was centred on global warming, or rather, the lack thereof.

I should probably add the total number of naysayers were ten divided by ten strong, and the reply one hundred minus ninety-nine in amount.

Basically, the gist of the letter quoted a few facts and figures which apparently support the idea global warming is a myth. Where the rising temperature is actually a natural progression of natural climate change by Mother Nature.

Here's a low down on what the naysayers say about global warming:
  • An increase of 1 degree Fahrenheit over two decades is irrelevant because the measurements were taken from local micro-habitats which have undergone severe changes over the years;
  • What the greenhouse gas producing countries spew out from their industries is nothing compared to what Mother Nature expels from her gut, e.g., volcanoes, decaying vegetation, etc.
  • Global warming is actually delaying the next ice-age;
  • Carbon trading schemes are essentially useless due to governments setting lax carbon-emission targets;
  • With several million members worldwide, the 'greens' or environmentalists are an industry upon itself bent on profit,
  • Environmental movements are hampering human right efforts worldwide by emphasising on the protection of the environment above all else.
It must be made clear, first of all, global warming is a science, not a fundamentalist struggle by environmentalists. Decades ago, during a period in the middle of the 20th century, a cold spell led many to believe the next ice age was upon us. Today, probably the very same climatologists are vouching for global warming.

While this may seem contradictory at first, we must remember the application of scientific methods is important in any scientific study.

To quote Gil Grissom from an episode of CSI: "When the evidence changes, so must the theory."

New studies and surveys of ice cores throughout the world have revealed several periods of warmth and cold throughout Earth's history. Cold periods are known as glacial periods, separated by warm, temperate interglacial periods.

This would then explain the up and down patterns of the Earth's climate during the past centuries.

Here is where it gets weird.

There is a Great Ocean Conveyor underneath the choppy waters surrounding the continents. Without making things too complicated, imagine a snaking line of hot water flowing from the equator to the poles, where they are cooled and sent back to the equatorial regions.

Science 101: Hot water is less dense than cold water. Hot water will therefore travel all the way up North before sinking to the bottom as it cools. Cooler water returns to the equatorial regions, completing the cycle.

That is why Berlin isn't as cold as Edmonton, even though they are located on the same altitude.

Global warming isn't so much the illness as the catalyst for an eventual ice-age. As the seas warm up, the polar ice caps begin to shrink. Shrinking ice caps don't just raise the sea level, they reduce the concentration of salt within the worlds' oceans. This is because most of the water trapped in the polar ice is freshwater.

Reducing the salinity of the seas means cold water becomes less dense than it should be. If cold water can't sink to the bottom of the oceans, the Great Ocean Conveyor comes to a standstill.

The result, instant ice age for the Northern Hemisphere.

Of course, this is all just theoretical. Nothing in science is absolute.

But it doesn't stop me from hoping a great tragedy like that will occur. Imagine a poor, derelict, starving Europe and America, and the rise of a powerful block of warm-climate agrarian countries in Latin America, Asia and Africa.

As depressed as I am about life, I would live to see that.

To answer the point raised where Mother Nature spew out more trash than all of humanity combined in a year, first we have to put things in perspective.

As usual a reminder, global warming as a science involves the study of various disciplines combined, and any individual component shouldn't be taken out of context.

It is irrefutable that volcanoes produce an amount of toxic gases greater than humans do every year. Additionally, industrial nations have cleaned up their practises and procedures over the decades.

However, one may be urged to forget the wholesale cutting of rainforests, highlands and other carbon absorbing structures on this planet. While industry practises may become cleaner, you can't expect Mother Nature to become more efficient by growing faster can you?

While plants may grow faster with increasing levels of carbon dioxide and warmer weather, as more forests are being levelled than being replanted, the efficiency of each plant in processing carbon dioxide must increase to make up for their fallen members.

To put it in perspective, Naruto using kage bunshin no jutsu to fight Orochimaru during the first season before the episode fillers.

In essence, Mother Nature may spew out more stuff than us, but unless we can eat our own vomit like her, humans become net contributor to greenhouse gases, however insignificant certain factions may describe it.

Criticism on the carbon trading scheme is valid.

Here's a run-down on carbon trading using suicide-bombers as a metaphor.

Imagine two Al-Qaeda cells with suicide bombers. Cell A contains 100 suicide bombers while Cell B contains 2 suicide bombers.

Due to management crisis as a result of multiple assassination and arrests of senior Al-Qaeda members, the number of suicide bombers in each cell must be capped so more can live on to take up administrative positions.

Let's say Osama only wants 50 suicide bombers in each cell, and Cell A needs all its suicide bombers to carry out bombing operations as it operates in a particularly busy Baghdad street; Cell A will either reduce the number of suicide bombers or, purchase the free membership for suicide bombers in cell B.

This means Cell A includes Cell B's quota in its numbers, with an extra two men.

If Osama states penalties for every man that exceeds the quota, Cell A will only need to pay for the two extra men.

Substitute the industrialised West for Al-Qaeda Cell A, the undeveloped third world countries for Al-Qaeda Cell B and carbon emissions for suicide bombers and that's carbon trading in a nutshell.

As the demand for carbon emission allowance increases from the developed nations, carbon credits (allowances for carbon emissions) increase in value, resulting in a very lucrative industry for all.

Smart, ingenious. Doomed to fail.

Even though carbon trading is supported by the EU, non-signatories of the Kyoto protocol such as the USA and China, who are the top two carbon emitting countries of the world, do not engage in carbon trading as actively as they do in Internet pornography.

Critics also point out local governments often set carbon-emission targets that are higher than what would be considered prudent and effective. This has resulted, not surprisingly in an increase of carbon emissions from countries who have delivered their John Hancock's to Kyoto such as Ireland.

Next point of contention in the global warming debate, environmentalists are nothing but imperial capitalists exercising every available measure to ensure undeveloped nations and communities stay undeveloped and poor.

Apparently, this is the reason various organisations wish to preserve local culture, to keep the black man in Africa and the Asians in their jungles.

Without rapid development (i.e. deforestation for industrial purposes) these countries will never compete on a level playing field with the heavily industrialised countries who can now supposedly, afford to reforest their raped lands.

Correct me if I am mistaken, but isn't America, THE most developed country actively implementing deplorable environmental policies?

Oil-fields in the Alaskan wilderness and overfishing of commercial fish-stocks aren't the standard practise for rehabilitating the environment.

Here, the critics are as naive as the environmentalists who believe the masses will come to accept the extinction of a species as a greater crime than murder.

Besides, there is an Asian country which has proven beyond a doubt it is possible to be an industrialised developed nation in harmony with traditional cultures and nature: Japan.

The country boasts the second largest economy after the US (developed), boasts master sword makers who still craft swords for a living (culture), and boasts an astounding 68.2% forest cover (environment).

I am all for shutting down their whaling fleets but you can't deny they still have a higer percentage of forest cover than Malaysia!

If they can do it, I fail to see why the rest of Asia and the world can't. Maybe we are just so lazy, we would rather swim in our own muck than clean up.

As usual, treat all this info with cum grano salis, as evidence continues to pour in regarding the effects of global warming will (not may) change facts into myth.

Sunday, March 18, 2007

Rifts

Plage, Phrenology, Propitiate, Circumlocution, Sophistry.

A journey of darkness,
Begins with light.
  • A1
  • Sojourn
A1
The denouement of a long struggle is a sense of closure. Of finality. How then, should one feel after grand achievements that amounts to further public criticism?

This week, Malaysian society was abuzz with news of outstanding students achieving extremely favourable results in the SPM and STPM, especially the former, which is quoted as a benchmark of a student's performance through secondary school.

Having underwent a brief soul-searching of sorts has given me a new perspective on the issues at hand.

While a year ago, I berated society and the government at large for suppressing individual desire in pursuit of unrealistic national agendas; today I realise society has actually conditioned a new generation of single-minded photocopiers intent on pursuing life goals that echo social propriety.

The epiphany was echoed by reading the comments made by the successful students in the national dailies. Virtually every single remark and "secrets of success" had been mentioned the previous years and the years before.

The one most often mentioned by my teachers and fellow classmates, seniors and friends is to drill oneself in the intricacies of questions past. In fact, the only reason I got the highest grade possible for my Geography and History during the PMRs was due to five hours each of past year questions.

While in a way, this certainly proves the efficacy of the formula, it also implies there is only one certain route to go about life.

If life were about taking as many past year questions as possible, shouldn't we be pouring all our free time into the study of human history, on debates of morality and spirituality?

For Buddhism, the study of past lives is an intricate and necessary path to enlightenment. While I do not profess membership of any occult or religious institution myself, this is a disturbing point to ponder upon.

In an ironic twist, we are told and advised to disregard certain worldly affairs from our past for fear of arousing discontent, distraction, and disturbances. We are given lessons on the history of Islam in depth, yet disregard the Malaysian-Singaporean history. Little surprise why dealings with the island nation have always been contentious and confrontational.

Racial segregation is not given its full treatment, where the "parental mindset" of our leaders have deemed the public too immature for open debate regarding the subject.

They quote the constitution, and remind us of the social contract for peace and prosperity. Yet here we are, producing a new generation of Malaysian students who are found wanting when engaged in public debate, in society.

What is the value of an "A1".

Here, it is the epitome of success. The character of the person is rendered irrelevant. What they have become is a string of numbers and algebraic conformation.

Numbers and letters.

"She is a 16 A1 student."

"I got 9 A1's"

"Your future depends on your UPSR/PMR/SPM/STPM."

That is what we have become: a nation rich in culture and history made barren by education.

Sojourn
Actions are a result of thought, to state the obvious. Though sometimes, thought follows action, as the following suggests.

Last Saturday, after a brief discussion on certain school projects, I was left with four hours on the clock before my mother could make time to pick me up from school. As the route between my humble abode and school was split by a few hills and busy roads, human power alone is inadequate for commute.

With the state of public transportation as it was in Penang, to even suggest taking the bus would be akin to rowing a boat up the Himalayas with spoons and forks.

Nevertheless, one can attempt Biology past-year questions for only so long, which was when I decided to do a spur of the moment trek to the massive rain tree bordering the school compounds overlooking the Sixth Form blocks.

A few minutes was all I needed to reach the river's edge, where I followed the bank as closely as I dared. The bank was raised to a moderate 1 to 2 metres above the river level.

Thick grass thickets had been trimmed, however, most of the grass were still piled where they were, offering immediate sanctuary to any denizens nearby.

Immediate reptilian concerns were answered by the appearance of a juvenile monitor lizard, which under the thickets, resembled a section of a python. Closer inspection frightened the creature into a Olympic dive into the murky river.

Further trekking brought me to the quaint houses hugging the riverbank's edge. The rain tree was unreachable as the houses shielded whatever trail I could identify.

No doubt, further inspection would have brought me to the tree, but the forlorn playground overlooking the cemetery caught my attention.

The monkey bars were wrapped in netting of some sort, obviously for football. The swings half-broken and in real danger of collapse. One of the seats was angled in a perpendicular position, apparently defying the laws of physics as no objects other than the chains which held it were in contact with the contraption.

The sight of the dead-blocks of epitomes dedicated to people long consumed by the earth lay silently opposite the swings on that Saturday morning.

As I left, a sudden metal clanging brought my attention to the warning signpost, which forbade anyone under 12 years of age from using the facilities.

The metal plate, unscrewed at one end, banged against the post it was nailed to a second time, as if professing the disturbing neglect and disuse of the playground.

The sky was suitably morose, alternating between moments of moderate heat and complete darkness. The rain fell a few times, but not heavy enough to warrant a home invasion.

While I pondered the weight of issues burdening my thoughts, the feet kept walking. Soon, I found myself wandering Air Itam market.

I entered a book cum stationery store, and left unmoved by the titles on offer. 50 cents was spent on a Chinese snack, you za gui, if you can read Pin Yin. The rainy drizzle intensified for a brief moment before ebbing away completely.

I walked on without any general purpose. Trawling the streets of Penang for any new experiences on offer.

The Forest Ranger office was as usual, closed.

But the plants inside were thriving, so someone presumably enters the building occasionally.

The lives of the common man was exposed. An explosion rocked the town - a firecracker in broad daylight.

Grass mowers trimming the herbaceous side-walk beside the cemetery.

A man having lunch in the homes of the departed.

A bus driver beginning his journey around the island.

A couple in conversation.

And me, reaching the foot of the hills which led to my home.

A quick call, and my mum picked me up 45 minutes later.

Sunday, March 11, 2007

The World in a Tram

Charnel, Abeyance, Indubitably, Sepulture, Sepulchral, Suppurating.

It's ranting time again on A Stray World. Pure unadulterated rush of blood-lust to satiate my hunger for vengeance.

  • Snakes on a plane, to Hong Kong probably;
  • Real life: Scottish Tourists in Penang.
First matter of the week is the successful reacquisition of of a few not less than 2400 banded rat snakes bound for the dining table of the ravenous Chinese.

Believed to be from Thailand, the hissing reptilians believed themselves saved from the awful fate of experiencing gastronomic disembowelling only to find themselves being auctioned off to be consumed by the same individuals who crave their sacred meat.

Apparently, these snakes are a "protected" species under the Wildlife Act 1972 and the Convention of Endangered Species of Fauna and Flora. Which amounts to a warning letter from the authorities with symbolic punitive measures.

Is there meaning to this outrage?

"We cannot simply release such a great number of snakes into the natural habitat in Penang or anywhere else in the country," says Hasnan Yusop, State Wildlife and National Parks Department director.

But surely that amounts to nothing more than being too lazy to supervise the return of the snakes to their country of origin.

"If the snakes are released into the wild, they might die or breed and become a pest," he added.

Correct me if I am mistaken old chap, but you shouldn't talk about your children that way. I mean, that would be tantamount to calling the entire human race a cancerous plague of flesh devouring parasites.

"We also cannot keep the snakes for long, as we would have problems feeding them. Plus, wild animals in captivity suffer from stress," said Hasnan.

Kid, I know the way people look at you when you walk out of that run-down shoe-store you call a house. However, the Wildlife and National Parks Department, as a government agency, surely receives substantial funding in carrying out its duties to protect all wildlife.

It isn't rocket science. The snakes are believed to be from Thailand.

That means there are fellow banded rat snakes slithering around in Thailand.

That means someone collected them from Thailand.

So it is too much to ask to return the snakes to their homes in Thailand?

"Yes it is," says a G-man. "You know the adage, 'if you can't beat them, join them'? You do? Well, we have changed our enforcement policy from 'we don't give a damn' to 'steal from crime, to profit from crime'."

Isn't that unethical?

"No way! We are the government, we wouldn't do anything illegal or wrong! We will just write a few more federal laws to legalise this campaign."

You mean there is more to come?

"Certainly. We will adapt the 'Endangered Wildlife for Sale" campaign for the "Seized Drugs for Sale" programme. Instead of combating the drug menace, we will start general distribution of any and all forms of therapeutic (Wink! Wink!) medication to the general public."

"We cut out the middleman, generate income for the state, and give good weed at a discount to the public while the bad guys get warning letters and fines. It's a win-win situation if you ask me."

Next up on the menu features some actual, real life encounters with Scottish tourists from your polemic blogger.

Yesterday evening (Sunday), I went along blissfully unaware of the actual objective of heading to the top of Penang Hill with five other blokes (I suppose I shouldn't term the only reed-thin girl in our group a bloke) to get this, snap emotive pictures of Penang hill.

Expecting an expert photographer to accompany us to the top to presumably advise us on the proper manner in which a photo should be taken, we were less than amused when he became, allegedly, too sick to turn up.

At the uppermost station, the team went to a wooden platform overlooking the magma like trails of Penang Island, and proceeded to snap the said scene with cheap digital cameras.

Having experienced the terror of film photography for most of my life (my family still uses film), I was less than amused to discover the lack of any proper cameras to capture te scenes before us.

How do you expect to take good pictures with a camera as flat as and narrow as the PAS government or a half-hearted attempt at a D-SLR with the pretensions of this countries inter-racial harmony.

More events occurred during the night to fuel my growing cynicism regarding the entire affair.

The guys actually started posing the girl and another guy in a seemingly romantic fashion underneath the neon lights along the main trail.

This scene of manufactured pretensions stopped just short of liquefying my internal organs followed by violent retching and paroxysms which would have resulted in a piece of foam-like polymer spread across the black tarmac with a piece of decayed orange where the brain should have been.

Fortunately, the night didn't end on that meaningful note.

While taking the last tram down Penang Hill, I found myself engaging a Scottish couple about topics ranging from global warming, Scots and Irish, Malaysian history of affirmative action, my school holiday, Welsh, and forestry practises in Malaysia.

The slightly weathered middle-aged man was seemingly engaging with the thick Scottish accent making every moment of a conversation an exercise in concentration.

Thankfully, all those hours spent on BBC Entertainment haven't been in vain.

At the middle station, we switched trams, and I found myself with the son of the Scottish couple.

He was the typical backpacker. Having travelled Europe, Russia, Mongolia, China, North Korea, South Korea, Vietnam, Cambodia, and now, Malaysia.

He had apparently stumbled into his parents during a leg of his unplanned, carefree journey. Saving up for the trip of his life, he had every right to regale me with tales of buying illegal DVDs in China (apparently, you choose your DVDs by choosing your clothes; just like the agents in Alias) or visiting the DMZ from both ends of the Korean border for a look at what international co-operation means (the North Koreans string up a fence barricade; the South Koreans string up a line of gunmen).

In Cambodia, they use American Dollars for daily transaction, which means our intrepid backpacker found Cambodia to be quite costly!

Yesterday evening, he went up Penang Hill. Yes, I concur, that doesn't sound very appealing, nor exciting.

Depending on the availability of cheap tickets to Japan, his next destination is between Japan, Singapore, and Borneo.

My guess is, he will choose the latter over the other two because visiting Japan alone will be expensive while Singapore is culturally dead (when he asked my opinion of places worth visiting in Singapore, I could only quote the Singapore Science Canter and the operas on Esplanade; not exactly cheap backpacker stuff).

He presumably ends his trip in Australia, where he will reacquaint himself with some distant relations.

We said our goodbyes and I went home to a victorious Koo Kien Keat - Tan Boon Heong.

A happy ending for once.