Charnel, Abeyance, Indubitably, Sepulture, Sepulchral, Suppurating.
It's ranting time again on A Stray World. Pure unadulterated rush of blood-lust to satiate my hunger for vengeance.
Believed to be from Thailand, the hissing reptilians believed themselves saved from the awful fate of experiencing gastronomic disembowelling only to find themselves being auctioned off to be consumed by the same individuals who crave their sacred meat.
Apparently, these snakes are a "protected" species under the Wildlife Act 1972 and the Convention of Endangered Species of Fauna and Flora. Which amounts to a warning letter from the authorities with symbolic punitive measures.
Is there meaning to this outrage?
"We cannot simply release such a great number of snakes into the natural habitat in Penang or anywhere else in the country," says Hasnan Yusop, State Wildlife and National Parks Department director.
But surely that amounts to nothing more than being too lazy to supervise the return of the snakes to their country of origin.
"If the snakes are released into the wild, they might die or breed and become a pest," he added.
Correct me if I am mistaken old chap, but you shouldn't talk about your children that way. I mean, that would be tantamount to calling the entire human race a cancerous plague of flesh devouring parasites.
"We also cannot keep the snakes for long, as we would have problems feeding them. Plus, wild animals in captivity suffer from stress," said Hasnan.
Kid, I know the way people look at you when you walk out of that run-down shoe-store you call a house. However, the Wildlife and National Parks Department, as a government agency, surely receives substantial funding in carrying out its duties to protect all wildlife.
It isn't rocket science. The snakes are believed to be from Thailand.
That means there are fellow banded rat snakes slithering around in Thailand.
That means someone collected them from Thailand.
So it is too much to ask to return the snakes to their homes in Thailand?
"Yes it is," says a G-man. "You know the adage, 'if you can't beat them, join them'? You do? Well, we have changed our enforcement policy from 'we don't give a damn' to 'steal from crime, to profit from crime'."
Isn't that unethical?
"No way! We are the government, we wouldn't do anything illegal or wrong! We will just write a few more federal laws to legalise this campaign."
You mean there is more to come?
"Certainly. We will adapt the 'Endangered Wildlife for Sale" campaign for the "Seized Drugs for Sale" programme. Instead of combating the drug menace, we will start general distribution of any and all forms of therapeutic (Wink! Wink!) medication to the general public."
"We cut out the middleman, generate income for the state, and give good weed at a discount to the public while the bad guys get warning letters and fines. It's a win-win situation if you ask me."
Next up on the menu features some actual, real life encounters with Scottish tourists from your polemic blogger.
Yesterday evening (Sunday), I went along blissfully unaware of the actual objective of heading to the top of Penang Hill with five other blokes (I suppose I shouldn't term the only reed-thin girl in our group a bloke) to get this, snap emotive pictures of Penang hill.
Expecting an expert photographer to accompany us to the top to presumably advise us on the proper manner in which a photo should be taken, we were less than amused when he became, allegedly, too sick to turn up.
At the uppermost station, the team went to a wooden platform overlooking the magma like trails of Penang Island, and proceeded to snap the said scene with cheap digital cameras.
Having experienced the terror of film photography for most of my life (my family still uses film), I was less than amused to discover the lack of any proper cameras to capture te scenes before us.
How do you expect to take good pictures with a camera as flat as and narrow as the PAS government or a half-hearted attempt at a D-SLR with the pretensions of this countries inter-racial harmony.
More events occurred during the night to fuel my growing cynicism regarding the entire affair.
The guys actually started posing the girl and another guy in a seemingly romantic fashion underneath the neon lights along the main trail.
This scene of manufactured pretensions stopped just short of liquefying my internal organs followed by violent retching and paroxysms which would have resulted in a piece of foam-like polymer spread across the black tarmac with a piece of decayed orange where the brain should have been.
Fortunately, the night didn't end on that meaningful note.
While taking the last tram down Penang Hill, I found myself engaging a Scottish couple about topics ranging from global warming, Scots and Irish, Malaysian history of affirmative action, my school holiday, Welsh, and forestry practises in Malaysia.
The slightly weathered middle-aged man was seemingly engaging with the thick Scottish accent making every moment of a conversation an exercise in concentration.
Thankfully, all those hours spent on BBC Entertainment haven't been in vain.
At the middle station, we switched trams, and I found myself with the son of the Scottish couple.
He was the typical backpacker. Having travelled Europe, Russia, Mongolia, China, North Korea, South Korea, Vietnam, Cambodia, and now, Malaysia.
He had apparently stumbled into his parents during a leg of his unplanned, carefree journey. Saving up for the trip of his life, he had every right to regale me with tales of buying illegal DVDs in China (apparently, you choose your DVDs by choosing your clothes; just like the agents in Alias) or visiting the DMZ from both ends of the Korean border for a look at what international co-operation means (the North Koreans string up a fence barricade; the South Koreans string up a line of gunmen).
In Cambodia, they use American Dollars for daily transaction, which means our intrepid backpacker found Cambodia to be quite costly!
Yesterday evening, he went up Penang Hill. Yes, I concur, that doesn't sound very appealing, nor exciting.
Depending on the availability of cheap tickets to Japan, his next destination is between Japan, Singapore, and Borneo.
My guess is, he will choose the latter over the other two because visiting Japan alone will be expensive while Singapore is culturally dead (when he asked my opinion of places worth visiting in Singapore, I could only quote the Singapore Science Canter and the operas on Esplanade; not exactly cheap backpacker stuff).
He presumably ends his trip in Australia, where he will reacquaint himself with some distant relations.
We said our goodbyes and I went home to a victorious Koo Kien Keat - Tan Boon Heong.
A happy ending for once.
It's ranting time again on A Stray World. Pure unadulterated rush of blood-lust to satiate my hunger for vengeance.
- Snakes on a plane, to Hong Kong probably;
- Real life: Scottish Tourists in Penang.
Believed to be from Thailand, the hissing reptilians believed themselves saved from the awful fate of experiencing gastronomic disembowelling only to find themselves being auctioned off to be consumed by the same individuals who crave their sacred meat.
Apparently, these snakes are a "protected" species under the Wildlife Act 1972 and the Convention of Endangered Species of Fauna and Flora. Which amounts to a warning letter from the authorities with symbolic punitive measures.
Is there meaning to this outrage?
"We cannot simply release such a great number of snakes into the natural habitat in Penang or anywhere else in the country," says Hasnan Yusop, State Wildlife and National Parks Department director.
But surely that amounts to nothing more than being too lazy to supervise the return of the snakes to their country of origin.
"If the snakes are released into the wild, they might die or breed and become a pest," he added.
Correct me if I am mistaken old chap, but you shouldn't talk about your children that way. I mean, that would be tantamount to calling the entire human race a cancerous plague of flesh devouring parasites.
"We also cannot keep the snakes for long, as we would have problems feeding them. Plus, wild animals in captivity suffer from stress," said Hasnan.
Kid, I know the way people look at you when you walk out of that run-down shoe-store you call a house. However, the Wildlife and National Parks Department, as a government agency, surely receives substantial funding in carrying out its duties to protect all wildlife.
It isn't rocket science. The snakes are believed to be from Thailand.
That means there are fellow banded rat snakes slithering around in Thailand.
That means someone collected them from Thailand.
So it is too much to ask to return the snakes to their homes in Thailand?
"Yes it is," says a G-man. "You know the adage, 'if you can't beat them, join them'? You do? Well, we have changed our enforcement policy from 'we don't give a damn' to 'steal from crime, to profit from crime'."
Isn't that unethical?
"No way! We are the government, we wouldn't do anything illegal or wrong! We will just write a few more federal laws to legalise this campaign."
You mean there is more to come?
"Certainly. We will adapt the 'Endangered Wildlife for Sale" campaign for the "Seized Drugs for Sale" programme. Instead of combating the drug menace, we will start general distribution of any and all forms of therapeutic (Wink! Wink!) medication to the general public."
"We cut out the middleman, generate income for the state, and give good weed at a discount to the public while the bad guys get warning letters and fines. It's a win-win situation if you ask me."
Next up on the menu features some actual, real life encounters with Scottish tourists from your polemic blogger.
Yesterday evening (Sunday), I went along blissfully unaware of the actual objective of heading to the top of Penang Hill with five other blokes (I suppose I shouldn't term the only reed-thin girl in our group a bloke) to get this, snap emotive pictures of Penang hill.
Expecting an expert photographer to accompany us to the top to presumably advise us on the proper manner in which a photo should be taken, we were less than amused when he became, allegedly, too sick to turn up.
At the uppermost station, the team went to a wooden platform overlooking the magma like trails of Penang Island, and proceeded to snap the said scene with cheap digital cameras.
Having experienced the terror of film photography for most of my life (my family still uses film), I was less than amused to discover the lack of any proper cameras to capture te scenes before us.
How do you expect to take good pictures with a camera as flat as and narrow as the PAS government or a half-hearted attempt at a D-SLR with the pretensions of this countries inter-racial harmony.
More events occurred during the night to fuel my growing cynicism regarding the entire affair.
The guys actually started posing the girl and another guy in a seemingly romantic fashion underneath the neon lights along the main trail.
This scene of manufactured pretensions stopped just short of liquefying my internal organs followed by violent retching and paroxysms which would have resulted in a piece of foam-like polymer spread across the black tarmac with a piece of decayed orange where the brain should have been.
Fortunately, the night didn't end on that meaningful note.
While taking the last tram down Penang Hill, I found myself engaging a Scottish couple about topics ranging from global warming, Scots and Irish, Malaysian history of affirmative action, my school holiday, Welsh, and forestry practises in Malaysia.
The slightly weathered middle-aged man was seemingly engaging with the thick Scottish accent making every moment of a conversation an exercise in concentration.
Thankfully, all those hours spent on BBC Entertainment haven't been in vain.
At the middle station, we switched trams, and I found myself with the son of the Scottish couple.
He was the typical backpacker. Having travelled Europe, Russia, Mongolia, China, North Korea, South Korea, Vietnam, Cambodia, and now, Malaysia.
He had apparently stumbled into his parents during a leg of his unplanned, carefree journey. Saving up for the trip of his life, he had every right to regale me with tales of buying illegal DVDs in China (apparently, you choose your DVDs by choosing your clothes; just like the agents in Alias) or visiting the DMZ from both ends of the Korean border for a look at what international co-operation means (the North Koreans string up a fence barricade; the South Koreans string up a line of gunmen).
In Cambodia, they use American Dollars for daily transaction, which means our intrepid backpacker found Cambodia to be quite costly!
Yesterday evening, he went up Penang Hill. Yes, I concur, that doesn't sound very appealing, nor exciting.
Depending on the availability of cheap tickets to Japan, his next destination is between Japan, Singapore, and Borneo.
My guess is, he will choose the latter over the other two because visiting Japan alone will be expensive while Singapore is culturally dead (when he asked my opinion of places worth visiting in Singapore, I could only quote the Singapore Science Canter and the operas on Esplanade; not exactly cheap backpacker stuff).
He presumably ends his trip in Australia, where he will reacquaint himself with some distant relations.
We said our goodbyes and I went home to a victorious Koo Kien Keat - Tan Boon Heong.
A happy ending for once.
1 comment:
wow, thank god I didn't tag along. and yeah, dollars are the way to go in cambodia, as my mum and aunt have discussed about their upcoming trip there.
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