LIVE FROM somewhere, ITS A STRAY WORLD

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Returning to our weekly schedule, your very own unknown reporter lost in a sandstorm of blogs, A Stray World.

Because of my now relatively free weekday evenings, I shall divide the blog posts of the week into three separate postings.

So, a quick recap of the most prominent events (of the real variety) which decided to happen while I was spending less time blogging.

• Cosmonaut from Malaysia;
• BERSIH parade;
• HINDRAF march.

The Angkasawan (technically cosmonaut)

A long, long time ago, Malaysians would gaze into space and wonder...

How much money would they need to fork out to purchase sky-torching fireworks from the black market?

Then they would wonder: "How many rockets would meet their spectacular demise in the heavens before the local neighbour calls the police?"

Now, Malaysians can finally look into the sky and wonder: "How many inferior Russian jets must we buy before we get another free ride into space?"

Then after hearing our wise leaders praise the cosmonaut we have sent into space as the greatest achievement since we sent a delegation to London to demand independence - Malaysians wonder: "Who the hell are they kidding?"

First of all, I wish to point out I am a great supporter of this "Malaysian" space programme. There is only so much newspapers, magazines, television, the Internet, word-of-mouth, radio, teachers and scientists can do to promote the study of cosmic science to the Akademi Fantasia/American Idol/Amazing Race/One in a Million/Love Perhaps?/Deal or no Deal crazed lunatics who make up the majority of our nation's youth.

Spend a few billion ringgit on Russian jets we can't even pronounce without thinking of Stalin, then launching a Malaysian into space for a once in a subprime mortgage crisis lifetime, and suddenly, the whole of Malaysia is abuzz with talks on solar storms and Soyuz.

Too bad that was only confined to the people who could look beyond the religious/racial/nationalistic political bigotry connotations of the entire fiasco.

Firstly, the event itself was heavily promoted.

"A Malaysian First!"

"Congratulations!"

"We have reached the stars!"

There is a (officially unrecognised) term known as overhyping. Hyping the benefits of the space programme alone in a non-descript purely scientific method of nation building would have been enough. But the government, wanting to justify the huge expenditure in taxpayer money, decided to turn this into a full blown Malaysian campaign for galactic presidency.

As a result, this turned the entire noble endeavour into nothing less than a political farce. Everything is always clearer in hindsight, which is to say the government has played its cards right, though it was oh so wrong.

By calling this a national project, they are saying it's a Malaysian project = Malay project.

Anyone who would dare speak out would be called a traitor. An unpatriotic turd who should move to America. Someone who doesn't understand the social contract laid down by our forefathers. That should shut the flap of the moderates who only want fair debate.

Unfortunately, the debate works in a God/Agnostic fashion.

Agnostic: I don't believe there is a god, because I don't see the evidence.
Priest: God is present everywhere. But you must believe in Him to see Him.
Agnostic: That's a Catch-22 situation mate.

Eventually, we reach this period of complete apathy, where the beloved people have forgotten the entire issue.

Come on! You should have seen this coming!

Do you still recall the High Performance Centre fiasco. Thank goodness those Londeners know better than to let Malaysians build something on their land.

They would probably attempt to bribe the local officials to fast-track the Environmental Impact Assessment, which would result in an elaborate cover-up, which will eventually stick out like rotten fish among cream cheese when the Thames becomes the largest sewage dump in Great Britain, and bring about a long and unnecessary diplomatic row between Malaysia and Great Britain.

So while I still support the Malaysian cosmonaut, let's take a step back, analyse the issue, cease this perfectly embarrassing "angkasawan" branding blitz, and start our real pursuit to reach the heavens.


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