Cool Yarmulkes

Brumal, Ferine, Wassail, Conjugal, Precis, Kitsch, Retention, Winnow, Conching.

One item will hog the spotlight today - my death counter.

Seeing that its previous moniker was quite a mouthful, I have shortened it to Dead of the Week and Total Dead.

The hot issue this week is a "I take back what I said" incident.

The Education Ministry has decided to rescind or in this case - reinstate the ban on handphone (aka cellphones, mobile phones) usage by students nationwide.

If this sounds familiar to anyone who has been watching The Nanny last week, I know you to are laughing at the irony of the situation.

For those who haven't kept pace with Malaysian news, a few weeks ago, the Education Ministry suddenly decided to repeal the ban of handphones in schools nationwide. However, a lot teachers and other individuals have vehemently protested the annulment of the ban - which in turn led to the return of the ban.

In short: Handphones Banned > Handphones Allowed > Handphones Banned.

Have you ever watched The Shield. If you haven't, I say it's time your parents allowed you to grow up young man OR, I sympathies that you never even had the chance to watch this show and must instead force yourself to enjoy The O.C.

Basically, Detective Vic Mackey's approach to drug dealers is to force them to pay "royalties" for the "privilege" to sell China White on the streets, by his rules. That way, as he so eloquently put it:"We may not be able to stop that shit from coming in, but at least we can make sure our kids don't take any of it."

NOTE: My memory isn't that good so don't sue me if that's not what he said.

In my opinion, the handphone issue should be handled the same way. The same way allegorically.

We should have rules regarding the usage of handphones in school - not an outright ban, which doesn't just seem lazy on the part of the teachers and lawmakers, but is downright anachronistic is this day and age where even a teddy bear has a functioning radioactive circuit board.

Besides, the students bring them to school anyway; regardless of whether the ban exists or not. At least with rules governing the usage of handphones, we can curb any unnecessary use of the device while ensuring the student have a reliable way of communication.

If you read the press statements saying there are public phones and the office phones at the students disposal - cook alphabet soup and let them eat their own words mate, because that's a half-truth.

There are public phones around the school. Except they are unreliable most of the time. I still remember that day when I had to lug my heavy school bag around for about 1 kilometre searching for a usable public phone so I could contact my parents. By that time, I was outside the school grounds; meaning I would have to trek back about 1 kilometre before I could reach the administrative offices and request permission from the surly school clerks to allow me to give a damn 10 cent phone call - which I didn't do.

Instead, I simply went to all the spots where my parents usually wait when school ends, which was faster and less tiring than "school trek".

If my plight isn't convincing enough, I have only one question:
Where do I sign up for the "Sadists Anonymous of Malaysia" club? I want to enhance my pleasure of watching those younger than me suffer and die.


And now to my final subject, the one where only Americans have the balls to leave comments. The rest don't want to raise "sensitivities".

It is evolution again, this time, in Malaysian schoolbooks.

Or rather, lack of.

When I was in Form 4, which was two years ago, I asked my biology teacher whether or not we would learn evolution. She said it wasn't in the highschool syllabus.

And here's the kicker: Every textbook of the three science subjects (Biology, Physics, Chemistry) forced upon me begins with a chapter that always begins or ends with a paragraph praising the greatness of God in creating this wonderful world.

Which god it refers to however, will forever remain an unspoken truth.

The fact of the matter is, religious technocrats write the school syllabus. Not scientists.

Be objective people!

I leave you with this quote from Jon Stewart:
"Whether or no you believe the solar system was created 4.6 billion years ago or 6000 years ago, depends on whether or not you are wrong."

I love Jewish comedians.

Dead of the Week: 11
Total Dead (Since 12th Jan 2006): 12