Erogenous, Gossamer, Hyrule, Antecedent, Pro Forma, Amorphous, Apoplast, Chutney, Oligopoly, Prolix, Nous, adsorption.
This week, on A Stray World:
This week, on A Stray World:
- 13 dogs shot dead, owner gets clean-up bill;
- Healthy elephant successfully stressed and drugged to death, nobody takes credit;
- Israel launches a rescue mission to save one of their own, unwittingly destroys Palestinian government in the process;
- Bush meets Koizumi, no samurai claims assassination reward.
Welcome to your weekly edition of A Stray World. Today, we feature - heroes.
Last Thursday, the Seremban Municipal Council (SMC) displayed great heroics by successfully shooting dead 13 of 26 dogs belonging to an animal lover.
As we all know, people who display great love and affection for animals, like Mr. Eng Her Sun, make others around them angry as a result of suppressed jealousy due to their inability to feel compassion.
The take-down squad, heavily armed with weapons of every grade, were out to restore peace and harmony to the community - so much so that every dog shot was accompanied with whoops of joy and glee.
With each bullet costing US$0.30, rest assured that the billing of the sting operation to public funds will be limited to RM 5000.00, to prove that the government is serious about wasteful public spending.
"We will ensure the remaining 13 dogs are neutralized. Rest assured, we are doing everything in our power to ensure they are all wiped out," said a SMC spokesman, on condition of anonymity.
"These creatures bring nothing but trouble and suffering, even our holy book discourages handling them. For the dog lovers out there, you should be thankful that we, as responsible citizens of God, have chosen the noble path of ridding them from this earth."
Apparently, the SMC doesn't use metaphores.
"We plan to send the bodies of the dogs to space to ensure their genes no longer contaminate this earth."
Meanwhile, government cost saving methods ensured that as little funds as possible were used for the relocation of Mat Chepor last week, which proved to be a wise choice when the baby elephant died.
"We did all we could to make sure the elephant relocation was done with minimal expenditure, due to escalating oil prices, and the increase of foreign cars bought by government officials," said a senior government minister on assurances of anonymity. "We even managed to delay the arrival of the experts from PERHILITAN by six days by persuading them to walk to the site to conserve fuel. Heck, we even secured the services of a vet only when Mat Chepor showed signs of dying to cut back on medical fees!"
With everyday heroes like them, true heroes who won't even take credit for their deeds; rest assured that Malaysia will be in safe hands.
On the international front, we turn our hero-worthy lenses to the West Bank; where Israel, who have the greatest sense of loyalty and friendship in the world, have launched their full military might to rescue one of their own.
When Palestinian militants abducted Cpl Gilad Shalit last Sunday, Israel was outraged.
In fact, a few air force commanders were given a dishonourable discharge for not launching air strikes immediately.
Repeated attacks have been launched against the northern and southern lands of the Palestinian Authority. Some commandos have successfully penetrated the legions of fanatical suicide defenders (some as young as 10) in their incredibly ingenious fortresses designed to look like run down abodes and apartments and have destroyed these bunkers-of-mass-destruction.
Songs and praise of the Israelis will be written and performed from this day onward; forever reminding us that true friends will do anything for each other.
Meanwhile, A Stray World correspondent, Ahn Ser Mi, has secured an exclusive interview with a Japanese samurai who reportedly turned down an opportunity to slice temporary US President, George W. Bush, in half.
Ahn has the story.
Ahn :Can you give me your name, just for the record?
Samurai: Call me B.B.
Ahn :Okay... B.B. The members of the Pact of Tao have demanded an explanation as to why their hired hitman has not ended the life of "the unworthy swine Bush" as they put it. Why didn't you?
B.B. :Because, Bush has already corrupted the minds of our leaders. If I were to kill him, nothing would change.
Ahn :Is that the truth?
B.B. :No! (Sobs) Bush, he told Koizumi, that he was my father!
Ahn :What!
B.B. :He showed our leader a picture of a baby and said this was his illegitimate daughter in Japan. The baby was wearing a garish mauve kimono.
That's all for this weeks edition of A Stray World.
Next week, we find out whether or not Osama bin Laden sends Get-Out-of-Jail-Free cards on a daily basis to Saddam Hussein and why America thinks its troops in Iraq should convert to Buddhism.
Good day, and good luck.
Dead of the Week: 19
Total Dead (Since 12th Jan 2006): 299
Last Thursday, the Seremban Municipal Council (SMC) displayed great heroics by successfully shooting dead 13 of 26 dogs belonging to an animal lover.
As we all know, people who display great love and affection for animals, like Mr. Eng Her Sun, make others around them angry as a result of suppressed jealousy due to their inability to feel compassion.
The take-down squad, heavily armed with weapons of every grade, were out to restore peace and harmony to the community - so much so that every dog shot was accompanied with whoops of joy and glee.
With each bullet costing US$0.30, rest assured that the billing of the sting operation to public funds will be limited to RM 5000.00, to prove that the government is serious about wasteful public spending.
"We will ensure the remaining 13 dogs are neutralized. Rest assured, we are doing everything in our power to ensure they are all wiped out," said a SMC spokesman, on condition of anonymity.
"These creatures bring nothing but trouble and suffering, even our holy book discourages handling them. For the dog lovers out there, you should be thankful that we, as responsible citizens of God, have chosen the noble path of ridding them from this earth."
Apparently, the SMC doesn't use metaphores.
"We plan to send the bodies of the dogs to space to ensure their genes no longer contaminate this earth."
Meanwhile, government cost saving methods ensured that as little funds as possible were used for the relocation of Mat Chepor last week, which proved to be a wise choice when the baby elephant died.
"We did all we could to make sure the elephant relocation was done with minimal expenditure, due to escalating oil prices, and the increase of foreign cars bought by government officials," said a senior government minister on assurances of anonymity. "We even managed to delay the arrival of the experts from PERHILITAN by six days by persuading them to walk to the site to conserve fuel. Heck, we even secured the services of a vet only when Mat Chepor showed signs of dying to cut back on medical fees!"
With everyday heroes like them, true heroes who won't even take credit for their deeds; rest assured that Malaysia will be in safe hands.
On the international front, we turn our hero-worthy lenses to the West Bank; where Israel, who have the greatest sense of loyalty and friendship in the world, have launched their full military might to rescue one of their own.
When Palestinian militants abducted Cpl Gilad Shalit last Sunday, Israel was outraged.
In fact, a few air force commanders were given a dishonourable discharge for not launching air strikes immediately.
Repeated attacks have been launched against the northern and southern lands of the Palestinian Authority. Some commandos have successfully penetrated the legions of fanatical suicide defenders (some as young as 10) in their incredibly ingenious fortresses designed to look like run down abodes and apartments and have destroyed these bunkers-of-mass-destruction.
Songs and praise of the Israelis will be written and performed from this day onward; forever reminding us that true friends will do anything for each other.
Meanwhile, A Stray World correspondent, Ahn Ser Mi, has secured an exclusive interview with a Japanese samurai who reportedly turned down an opportunity to slice temporary US President, George W. Bush, in half.
Ahn has the story.
Ahn :Can you give me your name, just for the record?
Samurai: Call me B.B.
Ahn :Okay... B.B. The members of the Pact of Tao have demanded an explanation as to why their hired hitman has not ended the life of "the unworthy swine Bush" as they put it. Why didn't you?
B.B. :Because, Bush has already corrupted the minds of our leaders. If I were to kill him, nothing would change.
Ahn :Is that the truth?
B.B. :No! (Sobs) Bush, he told Koizumi, that he was my father!
Ahn :What!
B.B. :He showed our leader a picture of a baby and said this was his illegitimate daughter in Japan. The baby was wearing a garish mauve kimono.
That's all for this weeks edition of A Stray World.
Next week, we find out whether or not Osama bin Laden sends Get-Out-of-Jail-Free cards on a daily basis to Saddam Hussein and why America thinks its troops in Iraq should convert to Buddhism.
Good day, and good luck.
Dead of the Week: 19
Total Dead (Since 12th Jan 2006): 299
3 comments:
ok, i give up. no match for your wit.
I am flattered.
But I do consider this my best work to date...
LoL, this one should be featured worldwide or something. And I should say Thank You for a pleasant read.
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